goodbye

i'm leaving for college on friday.

i might start another blog. i might not. i don't know yet.

but i do know i won't be continuing this particular blog.

i feel like i'm breaking up with this blog. it's not you, it's me! i just don't feel like this is right for me anymore...

so farewell, little blog!

the calc test was yesterday. it was meh, but whatever.
now i have pretty much nothing to worry about, which feels spectacular.


currently reading: aunt julia and the scriptwriter
currently listening: my brother's incessant drumming

i need to go watch a movie so i can have something to blog about. my entries have always been grossly diary-like, and i doubt they're very interesting to the... zero... readers of this blog.

i wanted to start adding this to all my posts, but of course have forgotten on the past few posts. here goes.

currently reading: lolita (and a multitude of magical realism books)
currently listening: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzl4p_S2osM (no idea what the video is..)
currently dreading: going back to school

to learn their grammary

on a social network site for my college to be, i was supposed to talk about myself in 100 words. i looked at a couple other profiles, most having long descriptions of themselves, creating some sort of person for the profile-viewer. i can't stand things like that. what am i supposed to say? i don't know if everyone is like this, but i have few routines/habits that i repeat every day. (besides hygiene practices..). i pretty much wake up every day with new interests and ways to accomplish things. i don't mind it this way. i get confused when people make generalizations about themselves, though. why limit yourself?

on that note

as, uh, melodramatic as that post was a few minutes ago, i felt the need to say it.

i got back from nashville about three hours ago. from show choir nationals! (thrilling, eh?) but seriously, it was fun. lots of talking and laughing and dancing obnoxiously in hotel rooms. nashville was gorgeous. it was all spring-like, and all of the trees were covered in flowers. and the best part was the smell. that smell like things are alive and growing and green. the days were warm, and the nights had that good breeze where you feel like you can hold the air in your hands.

also, i watched enough show choir in the last four days to last me the rest of my life. that's about all i want to say about the actual competition. oh, performing in the grand ole opry was kind of a neat concept. and the lobby had these sweet hanging lights that changed colors and looked too whimsical for a country music venue.

i stayed up until about 4 this morning talking to a good friend about life. i love having conversations like that. afterwards it feels like i know them ten times better, and that i thought about things i hadn't thought about before.

gothic elements

the weekend after march 6 was rainy, as it should have been.
the skies were gray and i didn't feel out of place.

this is all i really want out of life.

octagonal cages and other things

14 seconds. that's how long it took alex to pummel him. his name was john, and he was chubby. when he stepped into the ring he looked like a scared rabbit, and that he'd rather just go home and watch seinfeld re-runs. the ref brought them together and said quiet words, and then it started. they hopped around oddly for a few seconds, and then alex took his first swing at him. (if i knew really technical mma terms, i'd use them now. but i don't.) they exchanged a few punches, and then john fell into alex, and alex took him to the ground. with john laying next to him, alex punched him in the face a few times. he looked up at the ref to see if he was going to stop him, but he wasn't. alex then punched john about six more times, and during this punching, the ref tackled alex weirdly. i guess they let them go as long as possible before stopping them. alex, with an extreme excess of adrenaline and testosterone running through his veins, hopped weirdly around the cage screaming weird things. after that was when the cheesy part happened, and the ref held up alex's arm, and john looked dead. it looked like john was missing a chunk of his eyebrow and had a bloody nose. alex escaped unscathed, except for two jammed fingers (from punching the other guy so hard). we left around the time john left, and i barely recognized him. his head was wrapped up with bandages, and he looked like he had gotten into a serious accident or something. i felt really bad for him. i don't really understand the desire to hurt someone like that.

i was sitting next to alex's mom for his fight, and she was really nervous. this did not, however, keep her from being funny. she got out her camera, and, with a really sarcastic happy voice, uttered the quote of the night:

"well, these will be great pictures for the scrapbook!"

the curious case of benjamin button

i just finished the last few pages of f. scott fitzgerald's "the curious case of benjamin button." before i read it, i figured i'd be able to write a bit about the differences. now it's not even worth it. it's barely the same story. here are the three similarities:

-benjamin is born an old man, and consequently grows younger
-it takes place in the south (in a confederate state)
-he served in some sort of of the military (wasn't the same in book and movie)

tah dah! everything else is different. EVERYTHING. i guess i don't mind, but perhaps they should have called the movie something else, considering how unlike the short story it is. i really enjoyed the movie. brad pitt did a really good job portraying the different ages, and i would say it's as good as his role (tyler durden) in fight club. except i'm not sure if it deserved quite as many oscar nominations as it received. it was good, but not life-changing. one of my favorite parts took place in probably the sixties and seventies, when benjamin and daisy are just chilling and happy and they have one of those cheesy montages. also, when that old man would randomly talk about when he got struck by lightning. they looked so content. it was lovely. oh! the thing i hated: the fact they had that back story of the old woman and her daughter (randomly in a hurricane??). it was like the back story of princess bride, only worse, because they didn't have a little kid complaining about cooties. another part that bothered me was the fact that elizabeth abbott (tilda swinton) was also the evil lady from the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe movie. i kept expecting her to abuse small animals, and she never did.

some pleasant quotes (courtsey of imdb):
"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." -benjamin button

"Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life. Some people get struck by lightning. Some are born to sit by a river. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim the English Channel. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people can dance." -benjamin button

"Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times? Once I was just crossing the road to get the mail." -mr. daws


also, it is profusely snowing outside. and it is beautiful. as much as i'm looking forward to spring, snow has a special place in my heart.

currently listening: "pigeons" by page france
currently reading: i-six nonlectures by e.e. cummings (i love love love his poetry. it's pure and beautiful and simple)
current sock color: red

and finally. tonight (in about half an hour) i'm leaving to go to alex's very first MMA fight. yeah, that's right. mixed martial arts. i'm actually a little scared. i'm hoping he doesn't break any bones and/or die. i may end up writing more about this later.

have you heard about the mania?

ah, show choir. i genuinely enjoy playing for combo. i'm the only clarinet player, so i have little non-difficult solos, which is nice. the music isn't completely lame, no one can see us. oh, and we're actually good! most band groups at kennedy aren't, erm, the best... combo, however, is. we do well, the show choir does well, and it's general critical success all around. the only part i don't like is the fact that in the prep show choir (mostly sophomores and juniors) sing about being in love in their ballad. i know that's all over-analyze-y of me, but seriously. what fifteen year old truly knows what love is? they're mostly worried about whether or not their hair looks okay, or if they'll get their ap world homework done (oh my!). enough of that. the point is that i don't mind having two hour combo practices. unlike marching band, where i hoped i would fall and break my leg to spare me from the inner pain our epic fails caused me... and combo competitions are pretty dece, too. except for the overpriced food thing, but whatever. i mostly sit around with people and play cards or talk about snooty indie music or laugh. and play. that too.

currently listening to: "everyday" by vetiver (really cute stuff)
currently reading (besides mr. denisovich): the curious case of benjamin button by f. scott fitzgerald
currently petting: my lovely dog, tori. (collective aw)

a note about this picture: she doesn't always look this disfigured. she is (adorably) shaking snow off of her fur.

leaves

every time i have a birthday, i go through these cheesy questions about my year. i liked it because i could go back and see what i used to listen to, read, etc. i didn't do it this year. i don't know why. well, yes, i do know why. every time i wrote them, i'd write what i thought was a cool answer, not necessarily the truth. i wanted to create an alternate me that i could look back on and be like "wow, i was a cool kid." i remember when i first joined the world of facebook i felt this way too. i needed to seem interesting to other people. how pathetic is that? why do we feel the need to create ourselves for other people? that was a few years ago, luckily, and i've had time to reconsider. sometimes people get so into "i don't care what you think me!!one!1" that they end up still trying to fulfill some expectation. i went through that stage too. how obnoxious. now i stick to simplicity. and it's freeing.


what i'm listening to (for realz): "lullaby mountain" by the acorn
what i'm reading (ditto): one day in the life of ivan denisovich (russian names are really entertaining)

tree houses!

http://www.treehugger.com/galleries/2009/01/tree-houses.php?page=4.

obituaries and such

at the risk of sounding morbid, i'm fascinated by obituaries. i read them in the local paper, and i'm a dedicated Time magazine obit follower. besides your epitaph (which means "on the gravestone" in Greek), it's the only public writing of your life that will probably ever be. kind of tragic in a way, but true nonetheless.

i always feel bad for the little old ladies with amazing names that have nothing written about them except for their date of death and the names of their children. i think everyone should write their obit before they die, and include a story that epitomizes their experience in life.

this idea of peoples' stories also intrigues me. a few years ago my dad read a few chapters of the book Blue Highways to me (yeah, my dad reads to me sometimes. it's awesome). i liked it because ordinary people got their stories published. stories about famous people tire me after awhile, because i don't find them as inspiring. when i find out that everyday people have done amazing things, it gives me much more hope than when i find out that winston churchill did sweet things. (no offense to winston churchill.. he's a neat guy). i've started talking to people at my church, asking them about various stories i heard mentioned in passing. it's one of my dreams to write a book of peoples' stories, and i hope i get the chance to some day.

approximately 113

critical success!

no pants november is basically over. 'twas fun.

not only is tomorrow december 1st (25 days till christmas), it's the first day of second term. i usually feel inspired at the beginning of every term to be sure i'm a good student or whatever. i don't actually have any words of wisdom, but it's snowing right now!

also, i must remember to count how many days until senior year is over. just for kicks.

no pants november and other things

a few friends and i have decided to start "no pants november." not shaving is no fun, therefore, we have decided to wear dresses/skirts to school all month. when we say "no pants" we say it in a non-janky way. it's pretty successful so far. it'll be harder when it gets even colder and there's snow on the ground.

"tell the truth and run." -yugoslavian proverb

"the world isn't such a bad gig when you take naps." -random kid on facebook.. not sure if he made it up

i've start burning incense again lately. i burned a lot during the summer. you know how they say smell is most connected to memory? the smell makes me miss summer so much.

i've been reading proust questionnaires online.

and i'm still reading wuthering heights for ap lit. i'm shocked i don't hate it. gothic literature is kind of fascinating, though.

a lady named eileen at my church was telling me how she was a war bride. she lived in england and was working as a nurse when she met her american soldier husband-to-be. they got married in england in 1945. she was 19. they moved to the u.s. and have lived here since.

that's all.

mermaids and lampshades

we had to write poems for ap lit. and i actually wrote about things that i cared about, and i have to admit- they didn't turn out too bad. i won't post them on here, since they're rather personal. but yes, success with poetry. definitely a first for me.

aaaand now i'd like to post lyrics to an adorable ingrid michaelson song. i like the lyrics, plus she plays the ukelele, which is always appreciated.

don't you worry, there my honey
we might not have any money
but we've got our love to pay the bills

maybe I think you're cute and funny,
maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you,
if you know what I mean

Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there, you and I, you and I, you and I,

[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/sqYM ]
well you might be a bit confused
and you might be a little bit bruised
but baby how we spoon like no one else
so I will help you read those books
if you will soothe my worried looks
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf

oh let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there you and I, you and I, you and I

oh, let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there you and I, you and I, you and I

that is all.

rainbowheavenyogurt

around third grade, my best friend and i decided to catagorize the different types of sunsets. we came up with three different types, and have never been able to disprove them. so here's our third grade theory on sunsets:

1. rainbow- this is generally found when the sky is clear. the portion of the sky, closest to the earth, is a reddish color, slowly fading to an orange, then yellow, then a trace of green, fading into a blue and then sometimes a purple. thus creating a rainbow effect. brilliant, right?

2. heaven- clouds must be present for this to occur. the sky is still a rich blue color, while the clouds become a gold color, and you can see light shining behind them, getting a sort of "heavenly" look to them.

3. yogurt- this contains colors that would be in that trix yogurt stuff. bright blue, purple, pink, and sometimes an orange-ish color.

surprise!

all of the sudden, this afternoon, i felt the uncontrollable urge to write on my blog. so here i am.

rainrainrain

it's quite humid and cloudy outside, so i hope that means it's going to rain soon. i love thunderstorms. they're so fantastic. i love being inside doing something, most likely reading, and hearing thunder and lightning. it makes me feel safe. oh hey, i just check edkcrg, and it looks like there's a tornado warning, and storms are likely tonight. woohoo! also, tomorrow i am interviewing berniece for my essay, and i am excited. she seemed really happy when i asked if she'd be willing to do an interview. oh! i will now rant about graduation. a particular band director told us the wrong time, so myself and several of my friends were late, forcing us to take the orchestra bus. i was mad for about two minutes, until i realized how funny the whole situation was (i'm too lazy to go into specifics). graduation was too long. the only part i liked was when the superintendent gave his speech about his mother-in-law, because it was really happy. it was kind of sad this year, because i actually have good friends that are leaving now. i don't think i said goodbye to any of them, either. i don't like saying goodbye. it sounds so final.